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Sex life in a slump? How to bring it back

posted by rachel | Fertility & preconception | 9 March 2018

It’s all too easy to let sex slide down the to-do list when you’re in a long-term relationship – but with a few tweaks to your lifestyle and routine, you could find that lovin’ feeling comes rushing on back. Here are some solutions scientists and researchers suggest any couple in a sex rut need to try.

Put a TV in the bedroom We’ve been told for years that having a TV in the bedroom is a total passion killer – but a recent UK study suggests it’s actually the opposite. Of nearly 2500 people surveyed, 67 percent of them believed watching the box in bed had improved their sex life (they had sex twice per week), while 32 percent believed having a TV in bed meant they could have more sex without missing their favourite shows. So, that may be one way to up the ante at your place – if you don’t mind doing it while your partner has an eye on the footy!

Work out together. According to the Brooks Run Happy Nation Report by Wakefield Research in the US, couples who run together may have more sex. Experts say it’s a no-brainer that exercise of any kind boosts libido – not just because it releases endorphins but also because if your partner’s working up a sweat alongside you, you may start to associate those feelg-good chemicals with them. Sounds good to us!

Spend a weekend apart It may just stoke those fires, say researchers at the University of Texas. The study found that testosterone levels spike just before women in a long-distance relationship reunite with their partner after a couple of days apart, and that can mean a boost to her libido and little more between-the-sheets action. Seems absence really does make the heart grow fonder!

Don’t let kissing die When was the last time you and your partner made out passionately? Can’t remember? Long-term love can lead to kissing fatigue, warn the British Heart Foundation. A fifth of couples over 45 surveyed by the Foundation admitted that they only kissed less than once a week AND for less than five seconds! But, kissing – along with touching and cuddling – are critical to a good sex life and maintaining your emotional bond, plus it’s a stress reliever. So recommit to a regular pash!

Do new things together. Think you know everything about your partner? Heard all their stories? Shake it up and it could mean more sex. A cooking class, a horror movie, a session of indoor rock climbing… all can help yank you out of a relationship rut and re-light that spark, according to research by romantic love expert Arthur Aron. It’s because novelty boosts dopamine in the brain and can make your relationship feel kind of ‘new’ and romantic again.

Don’t create a sex spreadsheet! There’s been a viral sex spreadsheet doing the rounds this week from a man who documented his wife’s rejections and excuses for 7 weeks, then emailed it to her. It’s polarised people – understandably – but also raises issues about sex in relationships and the right way (and wrong ways) to do it more with the one you love. We reckon if you want someone to have the hots for you, documenting their failings as a sexual partner is probably not the right way to go about it. Good strategy if you want the relationship to keel over and die completely though!

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